Illuminated

snow day thoughts

2006-11-30T23:04:00.000-07:00

Things I'm loving so far about this post-Fall season:

-gingerbread latte's from Dunn Bros.
-Christmas lights
-cozy socks
-fleece pants, actually just fleece in general
-Bing Crosby
-cuddling up (with a book, with a blanket, with the cat, etc.)

And so the beginnings of a another winter in Kansas. It's a joyful time, a cold time, and a snuggly time. I love it. I may complain about it at times, but I love it. I can't wait til it's time to go sledding. Happy day, my friends. Hope you're enjoying this time as well.

settling

2006-10-23T10:56:00.000-06:00

My apologies for not updating here. You'd think while on "sabbatical" I'd find the time to do things like this, but that's not the case. I find other things to fill up my time. Important stuff like getting coffee with friends, reading books, and living into fall. God has granted me this time to actually see Him. Feel Him moving in me, not just brushing past. My pastor once said that one of the devil's greatest schemes is to make us so busy we don't have time to stop and focus and study. I think that's true. So, this Fall has been all about not being busy and stopping and focusing and studying. Thank you, Lord. When you rest, you see Him everywhere. In lazy afternoon lunches in the sunshine, cups of hot tea, dinners by candlelight, carving pumpkins, and late night conversations. He's present everywhere. And shows His love through many people and things.

The other day I was visiting the library and ran into a teacher I had in Jr. High. She shared something with me that I will always remember. She said that every morning when she gets up she meditates on the fact that if you take time to let the mud settle in your life, the water will clear and you will see what is coming up next. This all hooks back into getting to a point where you are going 7 different directions at 100 miles per hour. The 'mud' gets so mixed up that pretty soon all you have is a clouded mess. No way to see to the other side. But when things get a chance to settle, it's much easier to see what is ahead.

No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us.
--1 John 4:12

gimme a break

2006-08-24T16:19:00.000-06:00

I guess it's kind of expected for the posts here to be few and far between. That's okay.

It seems to me that when life is crazy for one, it's crazy for all. My little chunk of the world seems to be dealing with a whole lotta crazy lately. Everyone I know has something big going on in life, including my self. I'm losing my job, losing friends, losing my mind some days, and in some senses-losing touch with what's important. It's one of those things where you get so busy with the meaningless and petty things of life that you forget to focus on those things that do mean something. You lose touch with that which brings you peace and understanding. So instead, you stand surrounded by a mess wondering how you got there, how you got buried so deep-so fast, and how the heck are you going to climb out?! I forgot that it's as simple as a prayer or taking a breath. So. I've made the decision to take a sabbatical of sorts. Take some time to breath, to pray, to just be. I want to be with friends & family, be with God, and soak up the fact that Fall is almost upon us. Life at 21 can be crazy, but in the midst of it all, I realize how thankful I am. For a God who has a plan. For a life that was meant to be lived.

just now

2006-07-11T16:35:00.000-06:00

I'm sitting at work, eating Veggie Tales fruit snacks and cleaning up my desk. The phone rings. I answer, using the name of the doctor that I work for, and the guy on the other end says:

"Is this the farm?"

Me: "No, this is the doctor's office."

Guy: "You mean, this isn't the farm?"

Me: "Umm...No. This is a d-o-c-t-o-r's office."

Now that my friends, is random.

oops

2006-07-06T00:19:00.000-06:00

Man. I apologize for the lack of postage here at Illuminated. I've been soakin' up summer for all it's worth lately and haven't made it here to document it. Hopefully tomorrow or the next day I can catch y'all up on what's been happenin'. Ciao.

hit the road jack

2006-06-19T00:30:00.000-06:00

For a cat with such a nice name, Grace sure is a mean one, at least to other animals. Since her early days, Gracie has been a huntress. Venturing out into the neighborhood, it was not a rare occurence for her to return with her choice of prey--whether it be squirrel, mouse, or bird. Don't get me wrong, we feed her plenty, but she somehow feels the need for the thrill of a hunt, and the occasional taste of a squirrel face.

Anyhoo, since we moved Grace has been a bit more timid in her ways. Resorting instead to sleeping on the back of the couch or lounging in chair on the patio. We worried about her change of pace, but thought maybe she was just settling down in her older years. We have found of late that this not the case. Blame it on the warm weather or peer pressure from the neighborhood felines, but Grace is back in the game.

Grace likes to go out early in the morning, and when my mom came to bring her back in at 7, she was cowering in the corner of the porch, desperate for her mom and a comfy bed. My mom noticed that her collar was missing and that her hair was a mess, some of it pulled out. My dad went out to the yard to survey the situation and found Grace's collar. It was in the grass amongst a pile of cat fur. Right beside it was the collar of another cat. It was black with the nametag "Jack" on it. We're not sure what happened to Jack, or rather what Grace did to him. My dad concluded that they must have taken off their collars and danced naked in the yard. Makes sense in cat world, if you think about it. Poor Jack is still running around naked out there. Grace is probably a bit embarassed that her parents found the evidence. Teenagers these days.

poolside epiphanies

2006-06-16T00:24:00.000-06:00

I've been having a really good time lately. If the rest of my summer shapes up to be like these past few weeks have been, it's gonna freakin' rock ("too much rock for one hand!"-that's for you Amy). Come to think of it, I don't think the official first day of summer is until next week, so I'm ahead of the game. Sweet.

Tonight I came to fully realize there's just something completely comforting and reassuring about sitting around the pool with friends and feeling like I fit exactly within my skin. Feeling like I'm right in the place that God placed me, and fully growing and blooming in that place. Every once in awhile I feel I'm given a glimpse of what God is doing or has done, and this is one of those times. When I see my place now, I see what God did to get me here and for even just a moment it all clicks. It all makes sense. If you've never experienced that, I pray that for you. I don't believe we will ever be able to see the full picture. It's too big for us to comprehend--our minds aren't equipped for that kind of insight. But when God shows you just a slice of where you've at, where you've been, and where you're going it can bring a swell to your heart.

So, in a nutshell, I'm lovin' life right now. I'm throughly enjoying the warm weather, awesome friends, and good books.

Much love to you all.

blogging to keep from falling asleep at work

2006-06-09T11:29:00.000-06:00

Sorry that the updates here seem to be few and far between. Perhaps my brain has gone into summer mode and finds it difficult to type anything extremely interesting or eye-catching. I'm not sure. Regardless, I really like the place that I'm in right now. I'm happy. I'm glad. I'm content. I feel good. (I know, this is starting to sound like a James Brown song.) I feel as though good things are coming my way. I feel God leading these things, leading me. This might all sound completely cliche and shallow, but all I know is that life is really good right now. I'm rambling...

I'm looking forward to this summer. I have a feeling it's going to be a memorable one. I'm on the verge of something good, I'm sure of it. Out of boredom here at work, here's a list of things I want to do this summer. In no particular order:

go to the drive-in
read good books
drink a lot of limeades
be outside
go camping
spend a lot of time behind the camera

It's going to be glorious. Happy Summer, my friends.

ahhh summer

2006-06-01T09:41:00.000-06:00

It's here my friends. Summer. I've been eating dinner outside every night, driving with the windows down, and last night my yard was full of lightening bugs. Jimmy Buffett songs have been rolling through my head and this weekend I get to bask in the goodness that is a summer party with friends. Life is so good right now.

Going through a divide in Colorado last summer.

the one with the chemlawn guy, the UPS man, & the vulcan

2006-05-19T13:54:00.000-06:00

Today I had lunch with my mom, and as were were heading back to my office we saw the Tru-Green Chemlawn guy. He was driving around, obviously lost, and with his back door wide open. I waved at him and yelled to him to let him know about his door. He got out of the truck and came over to our car. He thanked us for letting him know, and then my mom asked him what address he was searching for. I happened to be on the phone with my Dad (Mr. UPS "I know all addresses" extrodinaire), so I asked him where this particular street was. Dad told me where that street was near, I told Mr. Chemlawn and we drove off.

Well, Dad wasn't satisfied with his answer, so he got out a map to find the exact place. I'm like "Dad, we're gone, we've left Mr. Chemlawn." He's still scouring the map. He finds the exact location of this yard awaiting to be Chemlawned and starts rattling it off. Once again, "Dad, we already left the guy, it's over." Dad has other plans for us though, he says, "Go find him!" So, mom and I turn around and find Mr. Chemlawn. Now, at this point this guy probably thinks we're crazy or that I was trying to hit on him (believe me, I wasn't). We flag him down AGAIN, and put him on the phone with my dad, who gives him exact directions. Mr. Chemlawn utters all of two words "Hello?" and "Thanks." Very monotone. When I get back on the phone with dad I comment on how the guy didn't seem very enthusiastic or thankful about the whole deal. This conversation follows:

Dad: "Yeah, he was pretty emotionless. Did he have pointed ears?"

Me: "Umm...No."

Dad: "Oh, well I thought maybe he was a vulcan. Vulcan's don't have emotions."

I love my dad. It never fails that a conversation with him will involve a reference to Star Trek, Star Wars, or classic rock.

Life really is what happens when you're making other plans

2006-05-18T16:25:00.000-06:00

So, tomorrow night I will put on a cap and gown, walk across the gym at JCCC, and recieve my Associate of Arts degree. It's interesting, looking back now at the last three years of my life that I have spent going to this school. Most of all I remember changing my mind a lot. Here's what my plans and realizations looked like:

Transfer to KU after 2 yrs.......Realized I have absolutely no interest in getting caught up in that which is KU's trap of death.
Get married and go to Bible College in the boonies......haha, No. Praise God.
Forget the degree......Why waste all the work I've put in already? Might as well finish.
Get a business degree, start my own Photography business.......Business bored me and through prayer and good friends realized I want my passion to stay my passion, not become work.
Get my Associates and wait for God's perfect timing and perfect plan. Spend time in His word and in prayer. Rest. Everything will fall into place........Best plan EVER.

So there ya go. I spent three years at JCCC-- waded through all different plans for my life, drove an estimated 14,400 miles to class, and memorized K-10 so I can now drive it in my sleep. I paid for it all myself without loans and only a little help from the 'rents. I met some good friends (Cassie, Laura Lou and countless others), I developed photos in the best darkroom I've ever been in, had a blast carpooling with Lynn, ate at Chick-fil-a, and so much more...

It feels good to close this chapter and see what God has in store next. It's gonna rock my socks off.

Kyle's Film

2006-05-05T10:19:00.000-06:00

Many of you might know the story of Kyle Lake. He was the pastor at University Baptist Church in Waco, Texas. He was an author and contributor to Relevant Magazine. In October of 2005, Kyle was killed during a church service when he was electrocuted while performing a baptism. Before his death, he delivered his final sermon, which has moved many. Here is an excerpt:

And here I think God is saying to each of us, “Abandon your plans of escape. And BE where you are. Plant gardens and live and live well.” I don’t know what your planting gardens may look like, but let me end there by trying to provide a glimpse into what that may be like:
Live. And live well.

BREATHE. Breathe in and breathe deeply. Be PRESENT. Do not be past. Do not be future. Be now.

On a crystal-clear, breezy, 70-degree day, roll down the windows and FEEL the wind against your skin. Feel the warmth of the sun.

If you run, then allow those first few breaths on a cool autumn day to freeze your lungs and do not just be alarmed, be ALIVE.

Get knee-deep in a novel and lose track of time.
If you bike, pedal HARD…and if you crash, then crash well.

Feel the satisfaction of a job well done—a paper well-written, a project thoroughly completed, a play well-performed.

If you must wipe the snot from your 3-year old’s nose, don’t be disgusted if the Kleenex didn’t catch it all…because soon he’ll be wiping his own.

If you’ve recently experienced loss, then GRIEVE. And grieve well.

At the table with friends and family, LAUGH. If you’re eating and laughing at the same time, then might as well laugh until you puke. And if you eat, then SMELL. The aromas are not impediments to your day. Steak on the grill, coffee beans freshly ground, cookies in the oven. And TASTE. Taste every ounce of flavor. Taste every ounce of friendship. Taste every ounce of Life. Because it is most definitely a gift.

I don't know about you, but I think that's pretty amazing. Really makes me think. A few of his friends were affected the same way, and decided to help spread the word about Kyle's last sermon. They are creating a film that portrays the words and feelings of the sermon above. They created a blog to track the process. If you've got time, check it out, because these guys are awesome. They've put a lot of work into this film, and it shows. You can see two trailers for the film here. Both trailers 1 and 2 are great pieces of work. Watch and feel the emotion, be brought to tears, think. I've really been moved by this, and I think you will be too.

thoughts

2006-05-03T09:35:00.000-06:00

So the good boys and girls take the so called right track/Faded white hats/grabbing credits/maybe transfers/They read all the books but they can't find the answers.

--John Mayer, No Such Thing

Oh, how true that is. I will graduate with my A.A. in two weeks. I know that no light bulb will turn on the day I'm handed my diploma, no answers will be delivered in that envelope. I feel good for accomplishing this first step in my college career, but I don't feel that it defines me. No piece of paper will ever make me who I am, no matter how many times my grandma tells me it will. Yes, it can make me more money, but "more money" isn't exactly on my priority list. I could debate on this for hours, but instead I'll just say that the last two weeks of school are hell, and let's just hope my head doesn't explode before May 17.

* * *

I'm amazed at the miracle of life. That sounds cheesy and cliche, but it's true. Holding my nephew last night, I realized how amazing it is that I can feel the huge power of God in a tiny 5 pound baby. It's crazy to think that he was still supposed to be in my sister's womb until the end of May, but instead is out here with us--safe and healthy. The God who created this Earth also created this little man with his tiny fingers and tiny toes. Wow.

I've never had that dream before

2006-04-25T23:58:00.000-06:00

Earlier today, I was talking to my friend David (P.). I was telling him about the unrestful sleep I had at the hospital last night when I stayed with my sister. As the conversation went on, we were agreeing that some people just don't know the correct way to wake someone up in the morning, and how it's always an unpleasant experience to be rudely jolted out of a peaceful slumber.

David explained it like this, "When someone does that it's like, 'Man, I was sitting eating a giant marshmallow, in the middle of a forest, with a unicorn jumping around me, and you totally just ruined it.'

keep the five alive

2006-04-20T09:35:00.000-06:00

Two things make today awesome:

1. It's National High Five Day! I think this is hilarious. So, give some high fives--it's a holiday!

2. Today is Stephanie's 21st birthday! AND I get to see her tomorrow for the first time in 3 months. I'm pumped. Steph--I can't wait to hang out in your new hot tub and eat Snickers Ice Cream Bars--it's going to be the best weekend. Plus, I get to see this cutie:

coffee and rain

2006-04-17T00:34:00.000-06:00

Ya know those days that you never bother to look at your watch, but instead just let time slide by, enjoying each tiny moment? That's the type of day I had Saturday. Amy had called me Friday night saying she was jonesin' for lunch with me. So, we met up for one glorious Saturday afternoon.

After devouring some good eats at La Parilla, we parked ourselves in a comfy spot outside Signs of Life. We sipped on Americano's, watching the people walk by and a thunderstorm come and go. We were lovin' the smell of rain and taking photos of the clouds. I'm not sure what it was about the afternoon, but it was perfection. God was tangible. He was there, as always, just possibly more noticeable.

A-dog, thanks for being awesome. When you celebrate your birthday later this week, celebrate the fact that God made you in His image, and you do an amazing job of living that out. And while you're at it, you should be listening to Jimmy Buffett and wearing pink socks up to your knees.

happy easter!

2006-04-16T13:49:00.000-06:00

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Oh! precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

For my pardon, this I see,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
For my cleansing this my plea,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

This is all my hope and peace,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
This is all my righteousness,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Glory! Glory! This I sing—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus,
All my praise for this I bring—
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

more glorious-ness

2006-04-11T00:22:00.000-06:00

Check this out for a glimpse of what prompted the post below, and why you should buy the Passion: Everything Glorious CD.

glorious, over us

2006-04-07T16:27:00.000-06:00

"You make everything glorious, and I am yours. What does that make me?"
--Everything Glorious, DCB

This line culminates my thought process this past week. Although I've been busy, I've been in constant fellowship with God. It's as if our conversations never stop, but instead keep building. They make more sense with every day. One step closer to Him, one step away from the chains I've been bearing. Glorious.

My sense of love for my friends and family has been dramatically different the past couple weeks. The feelings I have for those in my life have been palpable as of late. I felt it last night sitting in a room of new brothers and sisters in Christ, and a friend I've come to know better over the past few weeks. We were all sitting with heads bowed to the Word. Glorious.

I felt it painting the living room of my old home with my parents. The way the house still feels like home, the floors still creak in the places I'd remembered, the fish in the backyard pond still jump out of the water with their mouths posed as if they're kissing the air, the markings of how tall we all were still etched in the entry way. I felt it watching my mother who keeps going regardless of her condition. The strength I see in her when she says "you gotta do what you gotta do." Glorious.

May this ever-present touch of love never stop giving me goosebumps. May His voice be the only one I hear.

We are glorious because we are HIS.

"Glorious...over us...Lord You reign, glorious."

getting closer

2006-03-28T23:39:00.000-07:00

My beautiful sister at 31 weeks.

You will be here so soon, baby. Your Aunt Kate loves you already. In fact, I have already bought you the most adorable polo shirt, with tiny overalls to go over it. I'm currently resisting the urge to buy you every tiny cowboy shirt in sight, but don't worry...I won't be able to resist for long. You'll be the cutest man in a western shirt I've ever seen.

Oh, your dad has requested that I not teach you how to burp like me, but he never has to know. There are some things that I just have to pass along. See you soon, baby.

proof!

2006-03-27T09:25:00.000-07:00

Ever since I was a kid, my cure for the hiccups has been to drink water through a paper towel. My sister and I were taught this by some old friends of ours. It has always worked for me, and for most people who try it. Still, I've gotten a fair share of crazy looks and "whatever Katie, that's ridiculous" comments from those in disbelief. Well, I'm happy to say that this morning I stumbled upon proof for my cure. I was doing some aimless "I'm bored at work, and still not really awake" perusing of the internet, and came upon this article. Check out the section under hiccups, and see that it states "drinking through a washcloth" is a remedy. Honestly, I was a bit surprised to find it in print. I figured it was just some wierd deal that the people who taught us had figured out on their own. Guess not!

So, if you've ever given me that look when I tell you to drink through a paper towel, here's proof! I told you!

happy, for this moment in time

2006-03-27T00:22:00.000-07:00

it's raining.

it's 12:22am.

there aren't very many things better than falling asleep to the sound of rain.

Chi-Town

2006-03-18T01:07:00.000-07:00

At Passion in January, Beth Moore announced that she would be holding a women's conference in Chicago with Christy Nockels (of Watermark ). Because Laura and I developed an obsession with Christy Nockels during Passion (see: the night at the Ryman that changed my life ), we made our minds up then and there that the weekend of March 10-12, we would be in Chicago. So we loaded up last Friday morning, and headed to Chicago. The conference was short, but still amazing. The lessons taught by both Christy and Beth were very relevant to me at this time in my life. I felt very blessed for being there and hearing what they had to say. Plus, worship led by Christy is enough to move anyone, I don't care who you are. She has a powerful gift of worship.

Laura and I were bound and determined to meet Christy and let her know how much she impacted us in January at Passion. So, Saturday after the conference ended we found her and were able to thank her for her ministry. She was very sweet and let us take a picture with her (see slideshow below). Laura and I were pretty pumped about the whole experience. My favorite part was as we were saying goodbye to Christy, Laura said "Is your hair naturally curly?" Laura--you can always make me laugh.

We also did some sightseeing around Chicago with my friend Collin who goes to school there. He was a great tour guide, showing us around the city and sharing interesting facts he's learned during his time there. We were able to see Wrigley Field, have smoothies and cookies at Potbelly, go to the top of the Hancock Building, see our reflections in "The Bean" in Millineum Park, eat excellent Thai food at Star Siam, visit Collin's church , and so much more. We had a great time. And honestly, getting caught in the land of a million tornadoes on the way home was fun as well.

Check out the pictures below to see our adventures. And, if you're looking for a good album to buy, check out Watermark's farewall record "A Grateful People". A-Mazing.

"My kind of town, Chicago is
My kind of razzmatazz
And it has, all that jazz"
--Frank Sinatra, My Kind of Town

lappy

2006-03-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

So, guess where I'm currently blogginatin' from?

Anyone?

That's right, my brand spankin' new iBook!! I've officially converted to the world of Mac. Ahhh... It feels good.

My new toy arrived three weeks early. Ya gotta love the promptness.

That's all for now, just wanted to share the news.

(Chicago post and pics coming soon!)

Boonville

2006-03-13T18:51:00.000-07:00

Back Story: I went to Chicago over the weekend with Laura and her sister Amy for a Beth Moore Conference. More on that (and pictures!) later...

Sunday, we were continuing our road trip back to Lawrence, enjoying the nice weather and Coke with Lime from Quik Trip in St. Louis. We are driving through Boonville, MO reminiscing about some fun times we had there on the way back from Passion, when traffic on I-70 was suddenly taken down to one lane. We figure there is an accident, so we role down the windows and crank up the music while I keep the car at a steady 3 mph. There was some lightening in the distance, but I didn't think much of it. As we take the CD out of the player the radio comes on, and the announcer is discussing tornadoes that are touching down in our area. Oh..... We realize we are completely surrounded by very severe storms that are carrying with them tornadoes and baseball size hail. Just the kind of thing you want to be on I-70 for, right?

A few minutes down the road, they completely shut down I-70, exitting us all off the highway because of an overturned semi. So, we join about 35 other people at a small Conoco just off the exit ramp. Everyone is trying to figure out what's going on, and everyone has a different story. We find out from people back home that storms are completely surrounding us, basically travelling down I-70. Great. We meet some people headed back to Lawrence and Kansas City, and try to figure out what to do next. We find out from the highway patrol that it's not at all safe to travel west. They say the best bet is to head back east to Boonville. So, we meet up with our new found friends at the Holiday Inn and camp out around the TV in the lobby. The sirens were going off, kids were crying, and the hotel staff was getting extremely irritated. Craziness. After re-opening I-70, they shut it AGAIN, because of damage from a tornado. After a few more storms developed and passed through I-70, they once again re-opened the road. By then, all the others headed to the Lawrence area had decided to stay in Boonville. Amy, Laura, myself, and our new friend Ryan decided to head home around 1 am. The damage on I-70 was apparent, with many flipped over semi's, signs completely bent over backwards, or uprooted from the ground.

I made it home around 3 am, to a pitch black and freezing house without power. It had been out since Sunday morning at 8, and we didn't get it back until today at 1 pm. I was surprised to see just how much damage Lawrence had received. Every street you're on something has been ripped up, glass broken, or tree limbs down.

Anyhoo, I'm glad to be home safe. Chicago was good times, and I will post about that soon.

goodbye

2006-02-28T12:21:00.000-07:00

This weekend I helped my friends Josh and Stephanie move out of their home in Lawrence. They are official Oklahomans now. We have been praying for months that a buyer would come along for their house here, and God provided one. It was in His perfect timing, but it still felt too soon. Too soon for them to really be gone. They have been living in Tulsa for a few months now, but I suppose it never felt permanent until now. Man, I hate saying goodbye. But, I know that our friendship can last across a few miles, and God's calling for them to raise their family in the next state to the south is in His perfect will. Their faith and obedience will never cease to amaze me. So, for now I'll be a long distance friend and aunt (of the "honorary" variety) to their daughters Aubrey and brand new Alexis (welcome to the world, little one!). They are still working hard at getting me to move down there. After how sad I was this weekend, I might just consider it... I mean, who wouldn't miss this face?

This weekend served as a reminder of the amazing friends I have, and how great it is that we are all there for each other. It's amazing how moving can do that for you--people tend to just come out of the woodwork at moments like that. I'm thankful I have been blessed with a group of people (not all present in this photo) that constantly lift me up and make me laugh.

So Steph, here's to memories of Snickers Ice Cream Bars, birthday cakes in the cafeteria, lemon pepper chicken, Coldplay, all-nighters, bridesmaids, house-sitting, church, caramel frappes, the mom-mobile, sneaking out (with the crazy German kid!), and Dr. Pepper. Thanks for teaching me so much, praying for me, and writing me excuse notes in high school when we'd come back late from lunch. I was always glad to do "interviews for the Budget." Love and miss you.

strong bad's "dreamail"

2006-02-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

The reason my friend Charity is now calling me "Katie 80."

Have a good weekend everybody!

a bad case of the tuesdays

2006-02-21T23:29:00.000-07:00

Today I got one of those much needed slaps in the face from God. (Okay, so God probably wouldn't slap me in the face, but it's a good metaphor.)

I went through the day in a horrible mood. I trudged through a morning and afternoon full of work, a presentation at school, house cleaning, and other well-doesn't-that-just-top-off-the-day type stuff. Not to mention, my body is still recovering from it's oh so fun encounter with the stomach flu. By 6:00, my whole everything was frowning. Ugh was definitely the word I was conveying. I realized that tonite was the time my Tuesday night Bible study would be meeting at my house--and honestly the last thing I wanted to do was be friendly and study. But, I had no choice.

Then, it happened. Let me tell ya, when you walk into your living room and ten of your friends are singing "Blessed be Your Name" along with an acoustic guitar, the ice around your heart melts and God steps in. This is peace.

I settled onto the couch with a cup of coffee and ended up having a great night of discussion and prayer with my group. I was completely reminded of what an awesome church family I have, and how much support they have given my family during some rough times the past month. I realized I need to spend less of my time focusing on the things that put me in a bad mood, and instead remember the things that bring me back to peace, to God, and to a life that isn't ruled by inconsiderate people or the work and school that keeps me away from time with Him. It's so easy to forget that He was there, all day, watching as my heart turned into an igloo. Block by block of negative feelings and distrust in His sovereignty. Regardless, He was there. Sometimes ya just need a slap in the face to remind you.

And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in Him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. --Ephesians 3:17

kickin' it

2006-02-13T13:48:00.000-07:00

I just felt my baby nephew kicking inside my sister's belly for the first time. woah. he was grooving to the coffeehouse station. we're starting him young on good music.

that's one more reason why it's cool to work with your sister and watch her on this journey towards motherhood.

mute math

2006-02-11T15:21:00.000-07:00

On Thursday night, Caley and I went to the Mute Math show at the Bottleneck. We waited out in the cold for an hour, only for the under 21 crowd to get in first. This was my first show as an elite member of the 21 and over group, and what happens? The youngin's get let in first. Go figure. Regardless, it was well worth the wait. Mute Math put on an amazing show. I'm glad to see Christian music seeping into other genres and being put together so well in the process. These guys are going to make an impact in both the Christian and secular music fields. They get their influence from people like U2 and The Police. Super cool, if you ask me.

One guy in the front row was so excited about the show he was sure Jesus was coming back that night, and he let everyone in the place know it. I'm not sure it was that good, but that's a hard level to beat.

P.S. Check out some pics from the show on Caley's blog.

blogger birthday

2006-02-04T15:31:00.000-07:00

The month of February marks for me one year of blogging. It's crazy to look to the beginning through now and see how much has changed as well as how much has stayed the same. The cool experiences I've shared with friends, the lessons I've learned (and am still learning), books I've read, and pictures I've taken.

Interesting how some things tend to repeat themselves. Good things and bad. But, in the end that's what shapes us into who we are and what life is.

Happy blogger birthday to me! Thanks for reading!

creamer party

2006-01-29T00:36:00.000-07:00

These were too good to pick just one:

There we go. That one's perfect.

Caley and Amy and I got together tonight for coffee and tasty gingerbread creamer. We sat on comfy couches at a coffee shop, laid around in Caley's room, and had really good conversation. I look up to these girls. I'm glad to have friends like them. You guys rock my socks off.

Tonight was just a great night all around. It was one of those nights where when I'm driving home at the end and I feel more whole than when I started the evening. This always comes to me best when I'm coming up the walkway in front of my house. Everythings quiet and I'm kinda just filing through the night's events. Tonight was even better because the weather was amazing, a mix of rain and warmth. I felt happy. And, just thankful for the people I have in my life, and the God who created them.

2006-01-27T14:10:00.000-07:00

two things everyone should do today:

1. Listen to Jack Johnson's In Between Dreams. I'm pretty sure God created Jack so his music could be played on sunny days like this one.

2. Go to Signs of Life tonight for the gallery opening for Mark Feiden and Edward C. Robison III. Robison is high on my list of favorite photographers. Plus, he's a nice guy. Ya can't beat that. Check it out.

Happy weekend!

insert your own witty post title here:

2006-01-23T16:54:00.000-07:00

I don't really have just one really interesting thing to blog about. So, here's some random thoughts:

I've pretty much been sick since January 1st. Today is January 23rd. Wow. That really sucks. I've been so busy and distracted the whole time that I haven't really had time to just be sick. So, today I stayed home from work to hopefully recover. Because really, this is getting ridiculous. Although judging from how sore I am, I'm pretty sure I'm getting a really good ab workout from all this coughing I've been doing. That's a plus.

I hung out with the same five people Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. It was fantastic. We watched a lot of Friends episodes,--we're talking a whole disc and a half-- got into some deep discussions, saw some sweet fight scenes from the movie Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior, and grilled some amazing cheeseburgers and BBQ chicken. Staying out until 3am each of those nights may have contributed to the fact that I'm still sick, but we'll just ignore that fact.

And finally, I received my Passion '06 CD's in the mail last week. It's awesome to be able to listen to the speakers again and really soak in the message they were conveying. These people have a gift of teaching God's word like I've never heard before. I'm so thankful.

I hope you all have a great week! Love...

last words

2006-01-17T18:21:00.000-07:00

I was driving back from J. C. cubed (JCCC) today and called my dad to chat. Here's what followed:

Dad: Hey, whatcha doing?

Me: Just driving back from Johnson County. I bought my books today.

Dad: How was that?

Me: Eh, I did what I came to do.

At this point the call was lost. This happens frequently on the Kansas Autobahn known as K-10. There's lots of valleys known for stealing unsuspecting drivers' cell phone reception. Eventually, I call my dad back and he says:

"I'm glad you called back. I was afraid you were in a car accident and your last words were 'Eh, I did what I came to do.' Although that could be fitting to say before you die, that would be a really wierd story for me to tell at your funeral."

Diary of a Professional Bridesmaid: Wedding #4

2006-01-14T17:50:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I'm gettin' good at this bridesmaid stuff. Four weddings in just the last few years. Whew! I'm really getting to know the phrase: "always a bridesmaid, never a..." Just kidding. :)

Anyhoo, today Laura and Steve got hitched! It was a beautiful ceremony celebrating Laura & Steve's love for each other, as well as their love for the Lord. Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Moore! I'm so happy for you guys. Have fun on your honeymoon!

encountering Jesus in Nashville

2006-01-11T00:27:00.000-07:00

"For all you people new to Passion, I'm so, so sorry we didn't inform you before arriving about the post Passion dilemma of trying to tell people who were not there about what happened. I mean, honestly, have you ever felt more frustrated trying to search for mere words? So you say a lot of things that are sort of discombobulated and exasperating, hoping that the exploding radiance in your somewhat droopy eyes translates more effectively the surging truth and emotion that are about to blow your heart wide open."

--Louie Giglio, from the Passion Blog 1.6.06

Louie is right. It's so hard to truly express what I went through last week. I'll do my best in the next few paragraphs and photos, but if you really want to know about Passion and what I experienced...call me or email me. We will go get some coffee and I will talk for hours about it. In fact, please do that. I would love to share it with you. Here it goes:

I spent January 2-5 in Nashville, TN at Passion '06. Honestly, I went into it a bit skeptical--thinking it might be a bit cheesy, and a bit like a singles convention (most Christian conferences I've been to are). What I found was exactly the opposite. Instead I found that I could feel at home in the presence of God along with 18,000 other people. His presence was completely palpable and real. I've never, ever been in His presence like I was last week.

I experienced what it's like to be completely exhausted from worship. In the main sessions it was amazing to hear and see so many voices and hearts lifted up to God and His glory. The lighting, sound, and video work were all amazing, but they stood small in comparison to how big God was in the room. I knew He was there the whole time we were gathered. He touched us all individually. It was as if David Crowder or Charlie Hall weren't on the stage, but instead God was and we were all singing to Him. I've never felt such a direct connection.

The time of worship that stands out first and foremost in my mind is the night Laura and I went to see Nathan and Christy Nockels and Matt Redman perform at the Ryman Auditorium (the original Grand Ole Opry--how cool is that?). I hadn't heard much of either of these artists, but for some reason Laura and I were led to leave our group for the evening and see a different concert then the rest of our friends. I believe this was no mistake. That night changed my life. We sang hymns all night and I cried, I smiled, I danced, I lifted my hands to my Father. There is no question that God was with us that night. The whole room was warm from His energy. When the concert ended, Laura and I could not move. We just looked at each other and sat down. We were in awe of how His glory had washed over us that evening. I will never forget it.

One of the cool things about Passion is that they don't leave you in the group of 18,000. They want you to connect with others on a smaller level. You are broken down into Community groups of about a thousand, and then family groups of about 7-10. My family group was awesome. I was able to meet a bunch of new people (they're not all pictured below) from different areas of the country. We were able to open our hearts to each other and share our struggles and encourage each other while sharing our insights about Jesus and His wonderful love. They were all a huge encouragement to me, and the cool thing is we all plan on staying in touch and keeping each other accountable for the new passion that we left Nashville with. You guys are great! Not to forget, the eight people that I travelled to Nashville with and walked 4-5 miles a day with to and from our hotel. It truly was a pleasure to meet you and experience Jesus with you all. Thank you.

And as Amy spoke of in her post about Passion, it was crazy how many coincedences I ran into in the midst of so many people. I met Amy's friend Shibu in line at McDonald's, ran into Amy and Cari in the GO center, and met countless people from different states that had random KU/Lawrence connections. It was cool to see the way God brought people together the whole week.

In all, I hope this newly burning fire in my heart never dies. I don't want to come down from the high that last week provided me. I have been changed forever in one week. I can only imagine what God can do with the rest of my life.

"Jesus, my passion in life is to know You

May all other goals bow down to

This journey of loving You more."

--Above All Else

technical difficulties

2006-01-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

I want so badly to write up a post about Passion...but, my camera is being a butt and refusing to upload pictures to my computer. It is basically physically impossible for me to post without including pictures. It's against my rules. I will get things straightened out with my unruly Kodak and get back to y'all soon.

Love...

have I mentioned...

2005-12-27T23:08:00.000-07:00

Although I'm pretty sure that all who read here know...I have failed to announce to the wide world of blogging that...my sister is pregnant!! That's right...I'm going to be Aunt Kate! Cari is now 4 and 1/2 months along. She gets a weekly email that gives updates on the baby's size and any new developments. It always compares the baby's size to that of some type of food. So, today we learned that the baby is now the size of a large sweet potato. It's come a long way from the lentil bean, raspberry, kumquat, lime, and avocado days!

Me, Mom, and Cari-- Christmas Eve

So, baby when you get here just know that I'm gonna be the coolest aunt around. We're gonna watch Veggie Tales, eat Macaroni & Cheese, drink Capri Sun, and listen to classic rock. It's gonna be a blast.

Can ya tell I'm excited?

you're a good man, charlie brown

2005-12-23T18:42:00.000-07:00

One requirement for the Christmas season in my family is watching A Charlie Brown Christmas. Here's some words of wisdom from the Peanuts gang:

Charlie Brown: [shouting in desperation] Isn't there anyone out there who can tell me what Christmas is all about?

Linus Van Pelt: Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you. Lights, please. [a spotlight shines on Linus]

Linus Van Pelt: "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them, and they were so afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not, for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you this day is born in the City of Bethlehem, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; you shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, good will toward men'". That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

That is what it's all about, Linus. I'm glad that they still play this on TV in a world where everything is turning to "holiday" trees and "season's greetings." It's Christmas people, and there is a darn good reason for it. Praise God.

So, Merry Christmas everyone!! I hope it's filled with tons of family, food, and love for our Savior.

I love you all!!

googlism

2005-12-20T00:49:00.000-07:00

I discovered Googlism on my friend Mitzi's blog. You put in just about anything (name, place, etc.) and it searches Google for what that person/thing "is." Or, I guess I should say what it "is" according to various random websites that Google picks up on its radar. It comes up with some pretty interesting stuff...

Katie is...

katie is a strong believer
katie is the best
katie is a dental hygienist
katie is not easily intimidated
katie is so cool
katie is working as an office temp and fosters dreams of creating crossword puzzles for a living
katie is fearless
katie is the cutest kid in the country
katie is great
katie is an entrepreneur
katie is also member the sidewinders an animated jazz and blues band
katie is my daughter
katie is a good reader of music
katie is the melodic and lyrical backbone of the band
katie is a 'cracker'
katie is loved
katie is a very special creature
katie is demanding that santa’s elves conduct a full hand recount of all her acts since january
katie is the bomb
katie is on her game
katie is an unstoppable go getter and she has a huge heart to help others and make their lives better
katie is a slacker
katie is a gpl'd revision control system
katie is naturally gregarious and sociable
katie is someone who genuinely enjoys living in the residence halls
katie is as reliable and as comfortable as an old pair of jeans

Who knew I was fostering dreams to create crossword puzzles for a living?

Try it...what are you?

the result of a Sunday full of contemplation

2005-12-11T23:58:00.000-07:00

Everyone needs to go see The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I read the book as a child, but it didn't mean anything to me then. I thought it was a good book, but didn't fully understand the real metaphor of the story. Seeing the movie today, a good 10 years later, I was moved. First off, C.S. Lewis is amazing for creating this fascinating parallel to the sacrifice of Christ. Any brain that can come up with a story so imaginative and powerful, has really got it goin' on. Props to you Lewis.

Today, this movie really made me think...

It's unfortunate that I sometimes need a reminder of just how huge what Jesus did for all of us is. I understand clearly that His sacrifice saved me, and that He took my place that I may live. The problem is I sometimes lose the awe of this immensely loving act. This man loved me (and all of you) enough to come to this Earth, and be offered up as a sacrifice on our behalf. Wow. How can I sometimes pass this by? How can I get so frustrated with my life that I simply ignore Him and His callings? How can I go one moment without thanking Him, thinking of Him, talking about Him? How can I get so busy with the meaningless things of this world, that I don't make time to simple be with Him? He is only thing I want, the only thing I need...but sometimes the last thing I come to. I want this to change.

While watching the movie, I realized that the youngest girl, Lucy, was always smiling. At first, I was really annoyed with this. I know that may sound wierd, but at parts of the movie where no one should be smiling, she was smiling. I'm thinking, what's going on with this girl? Then, it hit me. She is in awe. She was really taking everything in. No one else was smiling because they were being skeptical and negative about the situation they were in. Lucy on the other hand was seeing past all that. She could see the wonder and glory in this world of Narnia. She let everything delight her. She was soaking it in. I wasn't annoyed with Lucy anymore, I wanted to be like her. Awed by this world that is around me, even if it's just in the little things. Negativity can easily cloud up our eyes, blocking out all that is inspiring...even in our ordinary, everyday lives.

So, things are going to change for me. It's time. Actually, it's past time. I've lived a good chunk of this last year striving--hating where I am. I no longer want to be floundering. Instead, I want to be at peace, simply resting in His arms. In the arms of the One who loves me more than I can even fathom. His love is big enough to cover me, and it's time to let it do so.

Just so y'all know. It wasn't just the movie that spurred this on. This realization is the culmination of many months of being lost. For example, at this time in my life, it's easy to feel alone and confused. Every year I get furthur along in college, the more people ask "what is your major? what do you plan on doing in life?" I really should just carry around a card that says "I don't know." That way I could give it to them and walk away, and spare myself the blank look of dissapointment I recieve after they here my reply. I suppose it's most important that I know that God is in charge of this life, and what I do with it. No, I won't become a doctor or a lawyer--but I know the things that God has placed on my heart that I will do in the future: love my husband like crazy (while glorifying God through our relationship), take care of my kids, and most of all love and serve the Lord, wherever and whenever He needs me. That's what I plan on doing in life.

I realize this post turned into a drawn out jumble of thoughts, so thanks for reading and listening to me ramble on. Much love...

whip it, whip it good

2005-11-29T00:49:00.000-07:00

I'm not gonna lie. I've been wanting to blog for awhile. Ok, a long while. It's hard when your computer currently lives at your old house, and you currently live at your new house. Throw in actually moving, Thanksgiving, and a bunch of friends visiting for Turkey Day break...all this makes it hard for me to get my blog on.

Anyhoo...

If you've met my family...you already know this, but we are a little wierd. Ok, a lot. I had a boyfriend that once told my parents "stop making my girlfriend wierd!!" He was probably right, but that's what's so great about the Schwy's. We just like to have a good time, and that and being wierd, usually go hand in hand.

Turkey Day seems to bring out the best in us. Maybe it's all the food and the fact we all get a break from work and school, but we just get little more loony here in the end of November. We had Thanksgiving at our new house this year, which was great. It really made it feel more like our family home. Anyhoo, I was making some whip cream in our whip cream maker (WCM--no house is complete without one) and asked my brother-in-law Jeff to test it out for me. He comes over, opens up his mouth and I pull the trigger. Now, in a perfect world, whip cream is supposed to come out. But, by some freak occurence a flying piece of what sounded like schrapnel comes barrelling out of the WCM. Jeff pulls back yelling "I'm bleeding!" Being the kind, loving sister-in-law that I am I start laughing hysterically. I mean, who wouldn't?!? When I pulled myself together, I looked and there was in fact cuts on the back of his throat from this mystery object that came out of the WCM. We figure it was a fluke and put the WCM in the fridge to wait for later.

After a rousing game of Cranium we all gathered back for dessert (a lovely pumpkin crisp made by moi) We get out the WCM thinking surely all the debris has exited, and the whip cream is now safe to eat. Think again. The whip cream is coming out, not whipped, but simply as cream. So, mom goes to unscrew the top, thinking we will probably have to load another CO2 cartridge because apparently the last one exploded in Jeff's mouth. Think again, again. As she is unscrewing it, the WCM explodes-- spewing whip cream all over the kitchen, but mostly on mom and I. Yum-my.

In the end, we had to result to Cool Whip. And let's be honest, that's just not quite as fun.

This is Dad, Me, Cari, and Mom with the big inflatable turkey on Thanksgiving. My mom collects turkeys, so Cari and I got this for her as a joke. I'm sure our new neighbors are thrilled that we and our big inflatable turkey moved into the neighborhood. It's only begun...

I love you all and hope that your Thanksgivings were just as much fun as mine.

things i'm diggin' at the moment...

2005-11-15T01:05:00.000-07:00

my fall peacoat jacket from Target
down comforters
Gingerbread Creamer by Coffee Mate (it sounds gross, but it's oh-so-good)
David Crowder Band (and the fact that I get to see them LIVE on Thursday!)
getting to see Laura
having 7 groups show up at our first open house
Mocha Chai Latte's from Signs
taking pictures of fall leaves
cold weather that makes the cat want to snuggle with you (see photo to the right)
God's Word.

much love...

2005-11-08T14:11:00.000-07:00

Today is so beautiful. Days like these are made to bring souls to life. What an amazing creator we have. Praise be to God!

A single day in your courts is better than a thousand anywhere else!

Psalm 84:10 (NLT)

P.S. "The Coffeehouse" Station on Launch is awesome. Especially when you listen while enjoying a Nantucket Nectars Peach Lemonade. Oh, and pretending to work when you're really just blogging and getting paid for it.

Autumnal Overview...so far

2005-11-06T01:28:00.000-07:00

Geez, it's been awhile since I've blogged. Why? Because moving sucks. A lot. I mean, I'm super excited about moving, but all the preparation that comes before completely Blows (yes, that's with a capital B). Especially when you have lived in a house for 21 years. Ugh. BUT, it's gonna be awesome when it's all said and done. Especially when you move into a house that comes with a ping-pong table.

Anyhoo, the photogragher in me has been slacking off on getting pictures posted on this here blog, so I put together a little slide show to show how freakin' sweet my fall has been thus far. Have I mentioned I love fall? I think I have, but just in case, btw: I LOVE FALL. Okay.

Click me!

Here's a brief summary: It all began with picking apples at my grandparent's old orchard and going to the pumpkin patch. Then, a couple weekends ago we held the 2nd Annual Fall-de-Ral here at Casa de Schwyhart. This is a get together we started last year where we have friends over to carve pumpkins, drink apple cider, eat lots of good food, have fun, etc. It's good times.

For Halloween this year, I had a party with a bunch of my good friends. We ate hot dogs, drank sparkling grape juice (we didn't get to play pong did we Dave? darn it! ;), played Cranium, and went trick-or-treating even though we are supposedly "too old." Ha. The highlight of the evening was seeing Padme, Darth Vader, Santa Claus, an elf, and a shepard do a Chinese Fire Drill on 23rd street. Priceless.

Although I don't have pictures...the fun continued last night when Steve, Laura, Pooh, Hannah, and I went to a corn maze out in the boonies somewhere, I really have no idea where we were. All I know is, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. We (although I hate to admit it) got lost quite a few times, before Steve finally led us out.

I'm sure Fall has much more in store for me...including my birthday (21!), the new Johnny Cash movie coming out THIS FRIDAY!, and taking ownership of our new home. I'm stoked.

Well, that may have been extremely boring and/or wierd. Blame it on the paint fumes I've been breathing in all day and the fact that it's 1:30am and I'm up blogging. Craziness.

Love you all...

(P.S. Many kudos to Amy for helping me figure out the Kodak Gallery slideshow. You rock A-dog.)

random thoughts

2005-10-30T02:24:00.000-07:00

it makes me happy that...

Jr. Asparagus is currently gracing my desktop wallpaper, dressed up as Frodo from the new Veggie Tales movie "Lord of the Beans." Amazing.
I waited so long to change the clock in my car last Daylight Savings time that it's now right again.

let us rejoice

2005-10-28T09:19:00.000-06:00

Max Lucado is a stud. Just so ya know. I got this excerpt in an email from Max's weekly devotional thingamajigger that I subscribe to:

Sometime ago I was asked to play a game of golf. The
foursome included two preachers, a church leader, and a “Matthew,
B.C.” The thought of four hours with three Christians, two of whom
were pulpiteers, did not appeal to him. His best friend, a
Christ follower and his boss, insisted, so he agreed.

I'm happy to report that he proclaimed the experience
painless. On the ninth hole he turned to one of us and said,
smiling, “I'm so glad you guys are normal.” I think he meant this:
“I'm so glad you didn't get in my face or club me with a King James
driver. Thanks for laughing at my jokes and telling a few
yourself. Thanks for being normal.”

We didn't lower our standards. But neither did we saddle
a high horse. We were nice. Normal and nice. Discipleship is
sometimes defined by being normal.

A woman in a small Arkansas community was a single mom with a
frail baby. Her neighbor would stop by every few days and keep the
child so she could shop. After some weeks her neighbor shared more
than time; she shared her faith, and the woman did what Matthew did.
She followed Christ. The friends of the young mother objected. “Do
you know what those people teach?” they contested. “Here is what I know,”
she told them. “They held my baby.” I think Jesus likes that kind of
answer, don't you?

This really makes me think.

Being a Christian isn't all about doing, doing, doing. What about just being? Sometimes our little section of culture gets so involved in the big things that we forgot all about the small stuff. It's like we aren't sweating the small stuff enough. Working for Christ doesn't mean we all have to ship off to a foreign country and live in a tent for a month, or even hand out lasagna at a soup kitchen. (I'm not discounting these things, in fact, I wish I could do more of them, I'm just saying...)There is much more to it. Our daily lives should really be what speaks for Christ. Our actions, words, and attitudes should make people wonder about us. I once heard that we should live lives that demand explanation. Others should wonder what makes us do what we do. At times of struggle, why do we still have a sense of hope? In times of rejoicing why do we know that it is more than just a coincedence or "luck?" God. He's the reason.

Gosh, He's so awesome.

God has really been with me this week. I'm talking, "Hey Kate, it's Jesus. Let's hang out all week. I just wanna show you some things" kinda deal. It's amazing. He has filled my soul with joy, and I'm so thankful for it. It's as if a fog has been lifted off of my life.

Hang out with Jesus this weekend guys, He's good company. And while you're at it, go outside. Sit in some leaves. It's awesome out.

Love you all.

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24

note to self

2005-10-20T23:59:00.000-06:00

I just got done taking 12 tests and 4 case study quizzes in TWO DAYS time for my online business class. Why? Because that's when I remembered that these were due. Yes, they've been available since August, but in August, October seems really far away.

So, if you see me in the next few weeks remind me that there will be 12 more tests due by December. And when I say that's really far away...slap me in the face. Thank you.

God is here.

2005-10-16T16:13:00.000-06:00

Life is good these days, friends. I feel some changes in these parts. I've got a new job, I'm moving to a new house, and I'm really enjoying this new season. I love fall. It makes me happy.

The past couple days I've been thinking a lot about how God is right here with me, although sometimes it's hard to see Him. It's easy for me to slip into little points of depression thinking of all the negative things that have come against me this year. There was a lot of death, heartache, confusion, stress, etc. But when I really stop to think about it, God has turned a lot of these things to good and He is still working. Isn't it amazing to think that there is Someone out there constantly thinking of you and what is best for your life? Wow. I want Him in control. Completely. I'm finally to a place in my life where I'm putting Him there. God is not my co-pilot, he's in the driver's seat.

God's tight...for reals.

On a side note, here's some photos of my weekend. I spent alot of time with the fam, going to the pumpkin patch and picking apples at the orchard my grandparents used to live on. It was good times. (Edit: I can't get the slideshow to work at the moment, I'll get the rest of the pictures up later. Until then, enjoy this apple.)

I love you all. Enjoy today and the God who created it.

'Barnes'-Fire

2005-10-02T16:49:00.000-06:00

Me, Laura, Charity, Steph & Janon enjoying our puppy chow.
What a bonfire. You just can't go wrong with chili dogs, s'mores, puppy chow, hot cocoa, and awesome guitar playing by Dave, Aaron, and Josh. Not to mention, one huge game of hide and seek in the dark, complete with lightening and rain. (Mary Ellen, you won hands down. You are officially the master of hide & seek.)

Dave, Ashtin, James, Aubrey, & Josh.

That was the most fun I have had in a long time. I feel fortunate to have such an awesome group of people to share fellowship with. When we're all together it truly feels like one big family. Thanks for such a good time guys, I love you all.

Steph & Josh--I'm glad we could all be a part of your last weekend in Lawrence. We are going to miss you like crazy!

happy "it's 8 days after the first day of fall and the temperature finally dropped below 75 degrees" day

2005-09-29T18:09:00.000-06:00

Fall is upon us friends! Well, hopefully anyways. We do live in Kansas, so ya never know. But still, today was beautiful. It's the perfect weekend for getting together with friends and having a bonfire.

coldplay!

2005-09-22T18:07:00.000-06:00

Last night I had the pleasure of enjoying one of the best concerts that I have ever been to, and let me just say that...

COLDPLAY IS AMAZING.

Those boys know how to put on a show. The music was amazing, the video work was oh-so good, there was a big moon overhead, and the weather was perfect.

By far, the best part of the show was when they sang "Til Kingdom Come," which is my favorite song on X&Y (it's the hidden track). But it got even better when they announced that they wrote this song for none other than Johnny Cash and then proceeded to play "Ring of Fire." Stephanie and I just about peed on the lawn of Sandstone, we were so excited.

You can't get much better than Johnny Cash and Coldplay...mixed together. Too cool.

Congrats!

2005-09-18T23:02:00.000-06:00

Today is Laura Lou's day...

Happy Birthday and Congratulations on your engagement!! Love ya!

yes, I am alive

2005-09-15T01:25:00.000-06:00

I make a promise to all of you I will never use the phrase "orange barrels" on my blog again. I've heard too much the past couple weeks "Katie, seriously, everytime I open your blog it still says 'orange barrels!' please update!" So, here I am.

Life has been busy as of late. Mostly with good stuff though, so that's nice. School is back in session and I'm settling into my new classes. I'm still using my mad skills as a major procrastinator, but you gotta find some way to make life interesting, right? Also, I completed my duties as bridesmaid for Wedding #1 this past weekend. Janon and Derek created a beautiful service to share with their friends and family and God's prescence was definitely felt. We all had a great time dancin' it up at the reception. (click the picture for a mini slideshow). Wedding #2 (Geri & Trent) is quickly approaching at the beginning of October. If anyone needs a bridesmaid dress let me know, because I'm getting to have quite a collection.

Today, Laura and I registered for Passion '06!! That means in January, David, James, Laura, and I will be road trippin' to Nashville for a good time with Jesus and and a zillion other college students from around the country. We are pumped.

In not quite so happy news, my friends Josh and Stephanie are moving. God has called them to continue raising their family in Oklahoma. The idea of having two of my best friends so far away is depressing, but it gives those of us left up here a good excuse for a road trip, I suppose. You guys will be missed!

In other news, God has blessed me with the opportunity of not one, but three new jobs! Not all of them are a for sure deal yet, I'm still praying and waiting for God's discernment. God has really answered my concerns about financial issues in a BIG way! He rocks.

I'm sure there is something I'm forgetting in this huge update, but it's 1am, it's raining, and going to bed sounds really good right now.

I love you all, thanks for your friendship.

orange barrels

2005-09-01T22:50:00.000-06:00

So yeah...I decided to change my template. Promptly after making the switch, I realized I don't have the time to work with it and make it BEA-utiful. The weekend is upon us and I plan on spending mine camping out at Clinton, going to the Irish Fest in Kansas City, celebrating the birthdays of both my wonderful mom and my honorary niece Aubrey, and getting a massage. Working on my blog template fits absolutely nowhere in there. I'll get 'er done eventually.

Happy weekend all!

2005-08-25T17:50:00.000-06:00

yet another reason to look forward to November....

three things

2005-08-20T19:58:00.000-06:00

As we all know, my sister moved into a new house about a month ago. She and Jeff are pretty much doing a total renovation to their house, making it all their own. We've dubbed this adventure "Project Kasold." As any good, loving family would, we've been lending a hand in anyway we can. Today, as we were painting the living room and listening to Fleetwood Mac, we struck up an interesting conversation. We decided that there are at least three things that you will never see any given person without. Everyone has three things, if not more. It was kinda cool to see what other people notice about you, that you may not even realize. My family concluded that they never see me without lip stuff, a hair tie, and my cell phone. I guess that makes me a pretty boring girl with overly moisturized lips, long hair, and a need to constantly be connected to people. Hmmm...

What are your three things?

2005-08-16T00:55:00.000-06:00

I've been reminded alot lately of the fact that I have amazing friends. On this side of life the only constant, steady thing you can find is God, family, and true friends.

Justin, Laura, Me, Collin, and Sam.

This past weekend I was able to reunite with some friends from high school. We call ourselves "the Clarinets," because that's how our friendship began. We all shared a common link in high school, and that was being a part of the clarinet section of the LHS Marching Band. Yes, we were band geeks...and proud of it. Since graduation, the six of us have made a point to keep in contact and get together at least once a year, no matter where we may be living. We still carry out the traditions we practiced back in high school, and this weekend was no exception. We met at Perkins for dinner, played a rousing game of "no rules" pool basketball, (I'm still sore and discovering new bruises, guys), and of course drank lots of Capri Sun & Dr. Pepper and played a game of Spoons. It's crazy to see us all growing up and fitting into our "adult" lives. We've gone from high school drama to plans for engagements, graduation from college, and getting real jobs. Wow, how times have changed. Laura, Sam, Collin, Justin, and Mitzi: (even though you bailed out on us this time!) I love you guys! Thanks for all the good times.

2005-08-11T23:31:00.000-06:00

Click for the slideshow.

I said I was going to post some scenic photos from my Colorado trip a long time ago. Since I haven't been able to put coherant words together in order to make a real post, I'm just gonna let you guys watch another slide show. To me, these photos capture just a hint of the fact that we live in a world created by one awesome Artist. He never ceases to amaze me.

new arrival

2005-08-04T23:59:00.000-06:00

The newest addition to my family....

This is Royce! My new nephew. Cari and Jeff brought him home from the Humane Society today. He fits right in with the fam. We are going to spoil him like crazy--and he will deserve every minute of it. I mean, look at that face!! He's a fun little puppy who likes to chew on flip-flops, put his front paws in his water bowl (and then walk all over you), and smell Aunt Katie's camera.

20 Q

2005-08-02T23:39:00.000-06:00

I took a mini road trip to Salina this past weekend. My friends Dave and Laura have been summer missionaries (or "summies" as the campers call them) at a church camp there the whole summer. Lawrence has been extremely boring without them. Thank goodness, they are due to arrive back here in these parts on Friday. Yessssssss.

While in Salina, Dave, James, Laura, and I played a game called "20 Q." It's the singlemost freakiest game I have every played. It's based on the simple game of 20 questions. You think of something, then this little computer thing-a-ma-jigger comes up with questions to ask you. Questions like "Does it weigh more than a pound of butter?" or "Does it bring joy to people's lives?" You reply by hitting yes, no, unknown, or sometimes. By the end of the 20 questions this thing guesses what you are thinking. Let me tell ya, it is correct about 7/8 times out of 10. You can be thinking of an extension cord, a siberian tiger, or underwear and it will know.

Laura and I discovered this game a few months back, and were forced to sit right down on the Target floor and play until we stumped it. It's possible to do so, just not very often. We bought the game while in Salina and spent a good part of the day in awe of it's freakiness. We decided it pretty much has to be possessed by Satan. There is no other explanation. If you're bored, it's worth the $10 at Wal-Mart.

memories from wonderful non-humid colorado

2005-07-22T00:16:00.000-06:00

I finally got around to uploading some pictures from my trip. These are basically just the "people" photos. Click on the picture below to view the slideshow. I'll post the scenic ones later. I'm up to my limit on Flickr!

thanksgiving in july

2005-07-21T22:40:00.000-06:00

having a smoothie brought to me at work as a surprise, friends who tell me what I need to hear...not what I want to hear (thanks Laura S., Justin, & David), finding a parking spot downtown during the sidewalk sale, air conditioning, having a pool in the backyard, coming back from vacation with a tan, cassie featuring me on her blog, limeades from Sonic, uh...limes in general, Sweet Pea lotion, Jack Johnson, flip flops, two Billions shows in one upcoming weekend, blue jeans, unexpected dinner invitations from my brother, opening my Bible to the exact verse that I needed to read, finding comfort in Jesus, mini Rolos, and bandana bracelets that remind me to pray.

...some of the things I was thankful for today.

"Give thanks to GOD. He is good
and his love never quits." 1 Chronicles 16:34

2005-07-20T01:24:00.000-06:00

Now that I said I was going to post, I can't organize all my thoughts to fit inside this little white box. Maybe it's the fact that I've spent the last week and a half out adventuring, having fun, and doing things that take little brain power. My head is anything but organized right now. There has been a mass exodus of my trains of thought leaving the station.

My Birks and I sittin' by the campfire.

Vacation was great. Lots of adventures and good times were had. Now, it's back to work, stress, and this crazy life. Blah. As soon as I get it together I will post my pictures and talk about everything I experienced. Maybe it's the fact that I haven't made it down to Signs of Life yet for my good quality coffee fix. That should make everything better. Sorry for the wait.

Howdy

2005-07-19T16:54:00.000-06:00

I'm back...

I have lots to say but first I have to:

go through my 500+ pictures
quench my thirst for Signs of Life coffee.

um, yeah. there isn't much more important than that right now. I'll post soon.

I'm so glad to be home...

2005-07-07T00:30:00.000-06:00

Starting Friday I will be embarking on a journey through Colorado, New Mexico, and a teeny bit of Utah. I will be absent from the blogging world for about a week and a half. But, I will be back, of course, with LOTS of photos. My family is joining 65 of our closest relatives in the mountains of Colorado for a big 'ol reunion. We're camping out in the San Juan National Forest, right on the Dolores River. My family has basically rented out the whole area, which is good, considering we are loud and tend to get a little rowdy. We just like to have a good time.

Here's an idea of what I'll be doing:

Wishing I had an iPod, while driving through Western Kansas.
Hiking the rim of the Capulin Volcano in New Mexico.
Camping out.
Eating a lot of good food.
Using up all the memory on my digital camera.
Hiking to the top of the highest waterfall in Colorado: Bridal Veil Falls.
Spending some quiet time with God in His beautiful outdoors.
Playing cards.
Spending time in one of the coolest towns ever: Telluride, CO.
Stuffing myself at our traditional family fish fry.
White Water Rafting on the Animas River.
Exploring Mesa Verde National Park.
Taking a day trip on some scenic highways through Southeast Utah.
and much, much more...

Most of my family is from the South (mainly Louisiana), so I'll most likely come home saying "y'all" and "fittin' to" and with a renewed love for cajun food. Mmmmmmm....

I'm looking forward to getting out of the great indoors for awhile. I'll miss you all, and look forward to telling you about my many adventures. Chao!

X&Y

2005-07-07T00:15:00.000-06:00

The new Coldplay album is freakin' amazing. It's been on constant repeat over the airwaves of my car stereo. Everyone should check it out.

Cari Jo

2005-07-03T12:36:00.000-06:00

Today's the day! The big 2-5 for my sister Cari. Happy Birthday! I love Cari Jo's bday because it falls right before the 4th of July, so it's always an awesome time to be outside, BBQing, setting off fireworks (illegally, if your in Lawrence), and hangin' out with friends and family. I love it. Just about as much as I love my big sis. (awww...)

Cari and I have the greatest time together. Never dull, always goofy, and constantly full of laughs. Growing up, our house was never short of sarcasm, random singing, and just plain craziness. My dad was a DJ in the 70's and early 80's, so we were pretty much raised on rock 'n roll. We see ourselves turning into our father more and more everyday, where life can constantly be related to a song. This scares us.

When we were younger we staged our own cooking shows (as if people needed advice on how to make grilled cheese and birthday cake), and performed for thousands with our hairbrush microphones. We took millions of tennis lessons, ate way too many peanut butter M&M's, and scared many a driver with our crazy car dancing.

Now, we're all grown up (well, age wise). Cari and her husband, Jeff just closed the deal on their first home together! I'm so excited for them and the family they will soon begin. I can't wait. Then I can be an aunt to more than just cats and dogs.

Happy Birthday Cari! Love you!

one more thing...

2005-07-02T01:03:00.000-06:00

So many books, so little time...

Speaking of good books: Last night I started reading Captivating (it's basically the "girl" version of Wild At Heart) with my buds Cassie and Niki. It's been reccomended to me by, well, the whole world...so I figure I better check it out. So far, it's really good.

Cassie, Me, & Niki

P.S. I finally got around to making some updates to my photo blog. Check it out and let me know what you think!

good reads

2005-07-02T00:11:00.000-06:00

I started reading Blue Like Jazz today. Donald Miller is so real and unashamed! He holds nothing back--just tells it like it is. This is refreshing in a way--for someone, especially an author, to be completely real and honest about something. Christian authors can sometimes get stuck in the rut of acting like everything is perfect and no one has any doubts, fears, or questions, when in actuality, most of us do. That's what's cool about Miller, he admits his struggles, shortcomings, and discontent with the idea of "religion." He works through these things on the pages. Tres cool Miller. I dig.

"...I will reflect upon these early days, these days when it seemed God was down a dirt road, walking toward me. Years ago He was a swinging speck in the distance; now He is close enough I can hear His singing. Soon I will see the lines on His face."

--Don Miller Blue Like Jazz

1 a.m.

2005-06-30T19:46:00.000-06:00

Cassie came to visit me in Lawrence last night around 11:30. This is dangerous. Last time she came to Lawrence at midnight we ended up walking around Mass. Street and drinking coffee until 3 in the morning. Bad for people like me who have to get up and act awake at 7 a.m. Emphasize the word "act." 'Cause that's exactly what I do most mornings at work: coffee in one hand, face in the other hand. Ugh. BUT, I've decided that summer at 20 is too good of a thing to waste on sleep. Second semester of my freshman year in college I managed to stay up until 3 or 4 almost every week night and had the time of my life--so what makes now any different? I'm livin' it up.

ANYHOO, Cassie and I are a little obsessive about photography. We're nerds, but we're dealing with it. Cassie shows up from Kansas City with tripod and camera in hand. We head to some alleys downtown to do some timed exposure shots (I told you, we're nerds). Alas, Cassie's battery dies on her camera after one shot. Dangit (or famigt as Amy would say). We headed into Henry's for some Chai and Bible readin', a little dissapointed. After one cup of Chai, we just had to go get my camera (the one night it wasn't attached to my face, geez). So we made a detour to my house, picked up the camera, and were back on track. We settled back down at Henry's, discussing the Holy Spirit, the cool things God does (specifically in the lives of Cassie's friends who are on a mission in Thailand), and other general life stuff.

Then, this random guy walks up to our table, and this conversation follows:

Random Guy (RG): Are you guys reading the Bible....at 1 in the morning?

Us: Yeah.

RG: Is this something you normally do?

Me: Read the Bible, yes. Although I'm not sure how often I've done it at 1 a.m. But, really, it's good all times of day.

RG: That's just really wierd. Ya know, in a place like this. (gestures to extremely liberal coffeeshop in downtown Lawrence, KS.) I've never seen that happen here before.

Us: Oh yeah? (we were kinda taken aback, and couldn't think of any witty comments) It's just something we like to do...nothing out of the ordinary.

So, RG walked away and we kicked ourselves for not being more clever, and laughed at the whole situation. THEN, about 20 minutes later, RG returns, pulls up a chair and asks Cassie to look up a verse for him. We're like woah. He couldn't remember the exact verse but had an idea of what it said. We finally found it to be 1 Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. He told us that this verse popped in his head when he saw us sitting there. Interesting.

So we struck up a conversation with this guy (who turned from RG into Joel) and found out he used to be a believer but had fallen away for one reason or another. He continued to tell us that he hadn't meant to be rude earlier but was afraid that we might catch some serious flack by reading the Bible in a place like Henry's. Not 10 seconds later another guy walked up to our table and, I kid you not, said "Woah, is that a Bible?" Cassie and I just looked at each other, puzzled that people actually found this so wierd.

So, moral of the story is it's okay to stay up til 2:30 and drag your feet the next day if it means that you could share the Good News with a couple people and hopefully re-spark some interest in a former believer. Cool.

be the reason that I live

2005-06-28T23:53:00.000-06:00

Jesus, be the center
Be my source, be my light, Jesus

Jesus, be the center
Be my hope, be my song, Jesus

Jesus, be the fire in my heart
Be the wind in these sails
Be the reason that I live

Jesus, be my vision
Be my path, Be my guide.

--Be the Center by Michael Frye

I go to a weekly Bible study on Tuesday nights. We always begin our study by singing a few songs. Tonite, Kyle (the awesome worship leader from Heartland) played the guitar and led us in singing the song above. Something about it really struck me. I want to make this song a prayer for my life. Something I've learned a lot about in the past few months is that what I need is Jesus at the center of my life. He is my rock, my strength, my hope. The rest of life will fall exactly into the right place after this. The trick though, is being patient. It's a virtue, ya know. A very hard to learn virtue.

slip 'n slide

2005-06-26T22:49:00.000-06:00

Back in the day my sister and I would play on our Slip 'n Slide every summer at my grandparent's house in Topeka. They had a few acres of land with a big house and an apple orchard. I loved this house. The ground slanted downward leading to the orchard so we'd set up the big yellow "slide," get out the hose and play all day. When we were done we were sunburned and covered with blades of grass. Ahhhh, it was great!

This is a random boy playing on a new Slip 'n Slide.

Mine was not this fancy...I kicked it old school.

Lately, I've really had the urge to get out the ol' Slip 'n Slide. Problem is...I don't have one anymore. My grandparents moved into town, and of course, the Slip 'n Slide is no where to be found. Boo. I have more than once thought seriously about buying a new one, but alas, I have no room for a big slide o' fun in my backyard. Hmmm... I'll have to come up with alternative resources.

He's a King!

2005-06-23T23:25:00.000-06:00

Tonite, I had this conversation with a 4 year-old, John:

John: I went to Vacation Bible School last week!

Me: Really? What did you learn about?

John: Jesus.

Me: Oh yeah? Who's Jesus?

John: He's a King!

Me: A King huh? That's pretty cool. So what does He do?

John: He loves us.

Me: Yes, He does.

John: He used to be here, but then He died.

Me: That's right, He did that to save us.

At that point, John announced that he was thirsty and needed more milk. So, the conversation ended there, and we finished our Mac & Cheese.

Leave it to a 4 year-old to come up with such a simple summary of Jesus in such a perfect way. It reminded me of what's really important in life: Jesus is King, He loves us, and died to save us. Amazing!

lucky!

2005-06-19T23:23:00.000-06:00

I found this verse today. I think it's so great. I love how God reveals things to me a little bit at a time, all in different ways. He gives me little reminders as I need them...right when I need them.

GOD takes the time to do everything right--everything.
Those who wait around for him are the lucky ones. Isaiah 30:18

God is tight...for reals.

3rd Annual All-Nighter

2005-06-18T23:39:00.000-06:00

Back in 2003, my buds Josh, Stephanie, David B., and I decided that since we had such busy schedules the only real time we had to hang out was overnight. Our days were full of school, work and life in general...so we figured why not give up sleep for some good ol' quality time with friends. So, the rest is history. Last night we held the 3rd Annual All-Nighter. We loaded up on Dr. Pepper, threw on our pj's and let the fun begin...

Laura, Josh, Steph, and Me

Our night was made complete by:

One game of Scene It! (we found out I can't hold a staring contest tie breaker...turns out you can't blink!?!?)
1 rousing game of Catch Phrase--the game that turns violent very quickly
1 fast game of Clue--David apparently has become a detective super-genious.
1 donut run at 2:30am in the Mom Mobile!
XBox, wrestling, and flip-flop beatdowns for the boys
lots of random conversations made even wierder by the fact that we were all half-coherent due to sleep deprivation.

James, Josh, and David showing their brotherly love.

Our goal was to make it to 7AM without falling asleep, and we all suceeded! We capped off the night, er...morning with pancakes and watching the sunrise, after which most of us promptly fell asleep.

Thanks for the good times friends!

And this picture of Steph & Josh's daughter Aubrey was just too cute not to post. She would have loved to stay up with us, but instead she took a bath and went to bed. Isn't she the cutest!?! I'm a proud honorary Aunt!

Signs

2005-06-16T23:30:00.000-06:00

Have I mentioned how much I love Signs of Life? Well, just in case I haven't told you, I do. It's fo sho (or for sure, for our non-Ebonics speaking audience members) on my top 5 favorite places to be list. Last night I packed up my Bible, a good book, & my journal and headed down to satisfy my craving for coffee and time with The Man.

I used to frequent this coffeeshop about 3 times a week, if not more. Yes, I was obsessed...okay, okay, I am still obsessed, but I don't make it down there as much as I used to. So, it was good to be back.

I purchased 16 oz. of pure joy (a double Iced Honey Americano w/ soy) and headed to the back to lay claim over my usual spot, the couch. Of course, the one night I wanted to use it, someone else was sitting there and refused to leave, no matter how many times I walked by. All the while I was sending them "hello! that's my couch!" vibes. Apparently my vibe-sender is broken, or they were just ignoring me. So...

I settled for the little blue stool on the floor in the children's section. Well, I really shouldn't say settled, because I love this spot. There is something so great about being surrounded by kids Bible's and Veggie Tales movies. I love it...Veggie Tales and this spot on the floor, that is.

Oh! I almost forgot..the picture above is brought to you by my sweet new digital camera! Thanks to Mr. Kodak Z740, my blog will now be graced with ALOT of pictures, because the camera has pretty much been attached to my face since it was purchased. Yea for digital cameras! :o)

let go & let God

2005-06-16T00:50:00.000-06:00

I feel changed. Something is different. My heart is being refined & renewed. This past week I have come to many conclusions, and now find myself at the beginning of a new path. A good path. I don't know where it leads--but the joy is in the journey, not the destination. This journey is joyful because of who I'm walking with...you guessed it--Jesus. I realized recently that I had unconsciously sort of shut Him out, trying to solve my problems by myself, figure stuff out on my own terms. Now, I see that this won't do me any good. The only way in life is to give it all to God, the One who created me.

"For only crazy people would think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God."

Galatians 3:3 (MSG)

I have alot of questions about life--where God is leading me, what I'm supposed to do, etc. These questions have been hindering me from living NOW, and just being...being me. This past week has been different though. This week, God has granted me peace. I have felt an inner calmness stronger than I have felt in a long time. It's such an amazing feeling to know that God is with me always. Always. Think about that for a minute. That is amazing. He is constantly here for each and every one of us. He is a big God!

And everything You hold in Your hand/Still you make time for me/I can't understand/Praise You God of Earth and sky/How beautiful is Your unfailing love.

--Chris Tomlin

I feel good about letting go and letting God. I'm not worried anymore about the future. God's in charge, and he knows exactly what is best for me. I am resting in that and stepping out in faith.

"Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that." Galatians 2:20-21 (MSG)

I started a new book recently called Enjoying God by S.J. Hill. In it, the author quotes John Piper and his version of what man's reason for existence is. Piper concludes: "The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever. (fyi: he adapted this from what 17th century theologians said about man's reason for existence).

So, that's where I'm at right now. Enjoying God, and His plan that is rolling out before me. Right now, it's a little mysterious, but that's okay. I know in the end, it will all fall into place: every event happening for a reason, every person who touches my life, and every lesson I learn.

Thank you Father!

"Cease striving and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10 (NASB)

the gentlemen adventurers

2005-06-14T10:03:00.000-06:00

Let me just say that Waterdeep is the coolest. Saturday I spent the day in Kansas City with Steph, baby Aubrey, Janon, and Laura B. These girls are great, I love them. After an awesome day at the plaza (complete with a trip to the Cheesecake Factory--yum!) we made our way down to the Westport Coffeehouse Theater. Don Chaffer (of Waterdeep) was putting on a concert with his new band The Gentlemen Adventurers. These guys rock. I was super impressed with their song lyrics, but even more impressed with their funky jam sessions they had in between songs. So good! Anyhoo, they were also joined by Gerram Mathews, and it turns out, he rocks too! I mean, how can you not like a guy when one of his CD's is called "Five O’clock Charlie and the Lost Art of the High Five"? Awesome.

To top it all off I bought the Waterdeep Worship album "You are so Good to Me." This is an amazing song, so that's what I leave you with now:

You are so good to me

You heal my broken heart

You are my Father in heaven

You ride upon the clouds

You lead me to the truth

You are the Spirit inside me

You poured out all your blood

You died upon the cross

You are my Jesus who loves me

You are beautiful my sweet, sweet, song

I will sing again
You are my strong melody

You are my dancing rhythm

You are my perfect rhyme

And I want to sing forever

2005-06-11T01:35:00.000-06:00

i love getting mail. who doesn't really? if you don't like getting mail (i mean real mail, not annoying credit card apps or bills), then that's just plain crazy. Anyhoo, when I came home from an extremely boring day at work, I was greeted by a package with this in it. that's right, a Guster t-shirt complete with sweet breakdancing people. it can't get much better than that.

2005-06-09T23:59:00.000-06:00

Chris Tomlin rocks my socks.

God rocks my socks even more...life is good! :o)

good quality quote

2005-06-09T00:08:00.000-06:00

"I wake up every morning determined both to change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning the day a little difficult."

E.B. White

2005-06-07T14:57:00.000-06:00

My jeans. Hangin' on the line in Winfield, KS. Yes, this town is so boring that the only fun thing to do is take pictures of your laundry.

"Kodachrome/they give us those nice bright colors/they give us the greens of summers/makes you think all the world’s a sunny day, oh yeah/I got a nikon camera/I love to take a photograph/So mama don’t take my kodachrome away" –-paul simon

thunderstorms

2005-06-05T00:56:00.000-06:00

They have arrived: the hot, humid, muggy, & thick Kansas days of summer. The question that always pops up in my head around this time is "remind me why we live here again?" Granted, I've lived here for all 20 years of my life, so I'm pretty used to the fact that during the summer it may be 75 degrees--but it will feel like 95, my hair will be one big fro of frizz, and even the carpet in my house will feel sticky because of the crazy amount of moisture in the air. Anyways, tonite my answer to the question was answered. Thunderstorms. Ok, no, it's not the only reason we live here, but it's a pretty darn good bonus. Tonite proved that to me:

After eating some amazing phad thai at Zen Zero, I had to walk to my car which was about a block and 1/2 down. I didn't want an umbrella, I just wanted to walk in the rain. soak it up. enjoy the drops. i didn't mind that my feet were soaked or my straightened hair was quickly turning to curls. driving home, i realized how cool some music sounds when you listen to it while driving in the rain. the music blends in with the sound of raindrops, and just makes you happy. (try "New Slang" by The Shins or "Begin" by Ben Lee).

when i got home, i stayed out on the porch watching the lightening and listening to the rain. it was the kind of lightening that goes off constantly with barely a break between flashes. it reminded me of how much i really do love thunderstorms. we have the best kind here in Kansas, I'm sure of it.

"some people walk in the rain... others just get wet..." –roger miller

2005-06-03T18:59:00.000-06:00

Right now, I really want to:

eat some Rudy's pizza, listen to Johnny Cash, and watch Veggie Tales.

2005-05-31T23:50:00.000-06:00

So, my friend David told me that I need to post something happy, that my blog is too depressing. True, David, true. There are a few happy things to pick out of my crazy life, so here ya go:

My friend David, and his wife Jess are having a baby!! Since I've pretty much adopted David as my brother, this means I get to be an aunt! Yea! I'm so excited. David and Jess are going to be amazing parents to this new baby God has blessed them with. (thanks Dave, for providing my first bit of good news to make the blog a little happier.)
I have amazing friends. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. God has blessed me with people that are nothing short of awesome. Constantly there for me, giving advice, and just plain listening. God even provided a new friend for me that happens to be going through the freakily exact same thing I am. God rocks.

That's all for now.

dunzo

2005-05-20T12:27:00.000-06:00

It's official: the summer has begun. Finally! I've been waiting for this day since, well, the first day of the semester. Sad, huh? Anyhoo, I think my finals went pretty well, and even if the didn't, honestly at this point I'm just glad their over! It was such a nice feeling today walking through campus after having a celebratory "finals are over!" lunch with my friend Laura. Everything was so green and the campus was empty. No one was around me and it all felt very quiet, kinda surreal actually. It made me happy and sad all at once. I was excited inside that I was done, but at the same time, I had no one to share that excitedness with. That drudged back up the empty, lonely feeling that is currently residing in my stomach these days. Boo.

The past week I've been in a very contemplative (is that a word?) wierd state. My mind seems to view things in tiny snippits of what was, what could have been, and what is no longer. It's pretty mentally draining, and no fun at all. I'm getting good at trying to distract myself from what's actually going on in my life, but, lo and behold, it doesn't work. Whoever said "you don't know what you have until it's gone" was right, but they also should have said "You knew what you had, loved it, it's gone, and you will never be able to get away from it." because that would be the much truer statement.

the other day, one of my friends said to me: "woah, your whole life has changed hasn't it?" at that moment, it all just kinda sank in and I said "yes. completely." gee willikers. how crazy is that. in the blink of an eye, my life was turned upside down. no more of what i'm used to, what i love, who i love, what i enjoyed immensely. no more, sorry, game's over. i want to just scream NO! this isn't what I want, this isn't fair, why did my happy little life have to be thrown into shambles. i don't get it. what did i do wrong?

i'm considering taking a break from blogging. besides the fact that i'm sure it's not fun for anyone to read how depressed I am, it's really pretty depressing for me. the blog sorta reminds me of a life that i once had, but am not allowed to experience anymore. i'm also considering taking a semester off from school. i have no idea what to enroll in or what i want to do with my life, so it all just sorta seems like a waste. my brain is too much in shambles to be prepared for another academic endeavor. maybe i just need time to fix myself, fix this broken-ness. i dunno...

i'm going camping for a few days, so maybe that will clear my head. time to be with God, in His creation.

i love ya all, thanks for reading.

2005-05-17T23:32:00.000-06:00

...stand your ground. And don't hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort.

--1 Corinthians 15:58 (MSG)

Do it yourself tombstones?

2005-05-16T00:30:00.000-06:00

So today my sister Cari and I were shopping around at Kohl's and we found this really neat decorative cross. We automatically thought of my mom (she has a cross collection). This particular cross was different than any that she has. It's a celtic-like cross and it's pretty large--it's meant to set outside in a garden. Long story short=it's a cool cross. Anyhoo, we decide to buy this for our parents as part of an anniversary gift (26 years! go mom and dad!). So, we get up to the check out line and the wierdest conversation with the cashier follows:

Cashier: "Is this for the garden?" (pointing to the cross)

Me: "Yeah."

Cashier: "Oh." (puzzled look)

Me: "yup..."

Cashier: "In the country where I'm from you would put this on your grave. So, if you would have said that this was going in the cemetary, that would have been okay, but going in your garden? That's strange." (looks at me funny)

Cari & I: Confused look, then smile and nod, continue to head for the door.

Cari: "So, let me get this straight: if we are coming to Kohl's to build our own headstones, that's okay--but if we're here for garden accessories, that's strange?" Hmmm...

photo bloginated

2005-05-14T01:56:00.000-06:00

check out my new photo blog! I'm still tweaking it, so it's not in it's full glory yet.

enjoy!

Freedom

2005-05-11T21:53:00.000-06:00

I can taste it: Freedom. Summer. NO SCHOOL. Yessssssssss

When I was in 4th grade, my friends and I thought it would be cool to run out the door after the bell rang on the last day and throw all our papers in the air and jump off the steps, like they do in the movies. We planned it all out during recess, we were stoked. Then, when we actually did it, it sucked. It didn't feel like it looked in the movies! Must of been the fact that we were missing out on a wind machine and some cheesy excitement-building music. Bummer.

Anyhoo, a week from tomorrow I will be a free woman. No more assignments or driving 40 minutes in rush hour traffic to get to school. Ahhhhhh. I'm excited. Here's what I wanna do this summer:

go camping...alot
be outside
go to the gym
read a lot of books
finish my daily Bible reading plan (the Bible all the way through)
drink Limeades (cherry and regular)
go on at least one spontaneous crazy road trip
buy a digital camera & an iPod
get in touch with my inner photographer
watch movies
spend time with God
go to Colorado/New Mexico with my fam
go to the drive-in movie theater
go to some Royals games
look at the stars
swim in my pool
drink soy mocha frappes from signs of life
see Jack Johnson in concert
get a bike and ride it!

that's not all...but this is getting long. :o) Have a good summer everybody!

2005-05-07T23:37:00.000-06:00

God is my rock. He has been doing an amazing job of holding me up these past couple weeks. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for that.

My friends have been awesome, supporting and comforting me.

But, at the end of the day...I still feel like crap. And not even just at the end of the day...sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the afternoon. I just get sick to my stomach and feel this all welling up inside of me. I don't know if life will ever be the same.

Ugh.

2005-05-07T10:45:00.000-06:00

I'm a firm believer that sunshine and warm weather makes everything happier. I think maybe Kansas has finally come out of it's warm/cold/warm/cold/warm/cold phase, and it's about time.

Anyhoo, yesterday was a good day:

it was warm & sunshiney
had a slow day at work = more time to read.
went to a local garden center with my mom and bought flowers to plant in the yard. i love the smell at these places, when it's all warm and all you smell is flowers and potting soil.
went to an amazing show put on by the Billions at Signs of Life. I'd been wanting to see these guys perform for quite some time, and they were definetly worth the wait.
hung out with some old friends Collin and Justin. We went to Perkins, ate french toast, I watched them spend like $10 trying to win stuff out of one of those claw grabber machines, then went out to clinton lake and played baseball in the dark. It was good times, just being goofy and random.

Although the day wasn't completely perfect, it got pretty darn close. Thank God for days like that.

2005-05-02T23:55:00.000-06:00

Two good things about today:

1. I bought a gnome. One of those awesome little guys you put in your yard, ya know? It's sweet.

2. I ate homemade Caribbean-Jerk chicken with my friends Stephanie & Josh (& baby Aubrey!) and figured out this should be one of my theme songs for life:

Accentuate the Positive

You gotta accent-thu-ate the positive,

E-lim-inate the negative,

An’ latch on

To the affirmative

Don’t mess with mister in-between!

You gotta spread joy up to the maximum,

Bring gloom down to the minimum,

An’ have faith ( amen! )

Or pandemonium’s Liable to walk upon the scene!

To illustrate my last remark

Jonah in the whale! Noah in the arc!

An’ what did they do ( what did they do? )

Just when everything looked so dark? ( what did they, what did they, what did they do? )

Man! they said

You better accent-thu-ate the positive,

E-lim-inate the negative,

An’ latch onTo the affirmative

Don’t mess with mister in-between!

I think it's by Perry Como, anyway...it's a good song.

sunshine, limes, & art

2005-05-01T17:14:00.000-06:00

Today my sister and I went down to Art in the Park to peruse the local artists and their creations. It was tons o' fun! There was alot of great art to be seen. We bought some prints from an awesome local photographer that had a booth down there. It inspired me to continue on in my goal to be a "professional" photographer. I really want to just travel around to random places with my camera, having fun and enjoying God's creation. Wouldn't that be the life? wow.

Anyhoo, after walking around the park and smelling funnel cakes for an hour and half, we decided it was pretty much required for us to buy one. So, we did. :o) And, I of course, being addicted to everything lime, had to get a limeade. We sat in the sunshine, got funnel cake powdered sugar all over us and just relaxed. It was great.

You seriously can't go wrong with sunshine, limes, and art. Amazing.

choices and epiphanies

2005-04-30T14:45:00.000-06:00

I've kinda come to a crossroads in my life. My little snowglobe of a world has been turned upside down and shaken profusely, causing everything to go crazy and end up in the wrong place. So, now I have to make a choice.

Today I was listening to the radio and a speaker was talking about going through hard times. He said, "Once you have gone through the human emotions, you have a choice to make, and that choice is to trust God or not." This was the final stitch in a weave of signals God has been sending me. I've got to trust!

But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made
the LORD their hope and confidence. Jeremiah 17:7

Last night, at the Mercy Me concert I went to, (more on that later) I had an epiphany: I have been brought to my knees, shaken to the core, dragged through distress...because I was supposed to be. God needed me there, on my knees, looking up only to Him. It's not that my faith-life and Christian walk has been bad, because it hasn't, but maybe it just needs some tweaking. A little more devotion here, a little more trust there...that kinda thing. God knew that one way to get me to this point would be to take away the thing that was most important to me next to Himself and my family...my best friend and boyfriend. It has ripped me apart to not have him by my side, I have felt all alone and confused. But, do you know where that left me? Alone with God. Right where I needed to be.

So, now instead of wallowing in my tears and shouting at God, I have made a choice. My choice is to trust. Trust God completely, knowing that His will for me is the best thing for me. I have to embrace that and live into it the best way I can. This will for sure take some work, it won't be easy. There are days when I have to stop and say "Trust!" every 5 seconds just to get me through, but that's okay. One day I'll get to the point where I will have to say that less and less, because my life will be based around my trust and hope in the Lord.

He is working every situation in my life out for good, even though it doesn't always feel like it. I may hurt right now, but he is cultivating new things in me, teaching me lessons, shaping my heart. How can I not be excited about that?! Every day is a new day, and I want to celebrate Him all of those days, growing closer to Him. Surrounding myself with the knowledge of a God who loves me and wants only whats best for me.

Thanks to everyone who has watched me go through this rough patch and helped me along. God has blessed me with great people in my life. You all are part of the path that led me to this realization. Let's just pray that I can keep this positive outlook going! :o)

And thank you Lord for putting me in this place, right where You needed me to be.

2005-04-27T23:00:00.000-06:00

Happy Administrative Professionals Day! It's good to know theres a day representing those of us who sit on our butts (most) of the work day dealing with cranky people, answering phones, and filling out TONS of paper work. My mom (who happens to be my boss) gave me a really cool cross and a Max Lucado card today to honor the occasion. It made me smile :o)

a bright spot of life

2005-04-27T15:47:00.000-06:00

bare feet

hanging out the window
peanut butter and jelly

first day of real sunshine

skipping class

jack johnson

looking up at you
smile

2005-04-26T16:02:00.000-06:00

yippy skippy