the result of a Sunday full of contemplation

Everyone needs to go see The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I read the book as a child, but it didn't mean anything to me then. I thought it was a good book, but didn't fully understand the real metaphor of the story. Seeing the movie today, a good 10 years later, I was moved. First off, C.S. Lewis is amazing for creating this fascinating parallel to the sacrifice of Christ. Any brain that can come up with a story so imaginative and powerful, has really got it goin' on. Props to you Lewis.

Today, this movie really made me think...

It's unfortunate that I sometimes need a reminder of just how huge what Jesus did for all of us is. I understand clearly that His sacrifice saved me, and that He took my place that I may live. The problem is I sometimes lose the awe of this immensely loving act. This man loved me (and all of you) enough to come to this Earth, and be offered up as a sacrifice on our behalf. Wow. How can I sometimes pass this by? How can I get so frustrated with my life that I simply ignore Him and His callings? How can I go one moment without thanking Him, thinking of Him, talking about Him? How can I get so busy with the meaningless things of this world, that I don't make time to simple be with Him? He is only thing I want, the only thing I need...but sometimes the last thing I come to. I want this to change.

While watching the movie, I realized that the youngest girl, Lucy, was always smiling. At first, I was really annoyed with this. I know that may sound wierd, but at parts of the movie where no one should be smiling, she was smiling. I'm thinking, what's going on with this girl? Then, it hit me. She is in awe. She was really taking everything in. No one else was smiling because they were being skeptical and negative about the situation they were in. Lucy on the other hand was seeing past all that. She could see the wonder and glory in this world of Narnia. She let everything delight her. She was soaking it in. I wasn't annoyed with Lucy anymore, I wanted to be like her. Awed by this world that is around me, even if it's just in the little things. Negativity can easily cloud up our eyes, blocking out all that is inspiring...even in our ordinary, everyday lives.

So, things are going to change for me. It's time. Actually, it's past time. I've lived a good chunk of this last year striving--hating where I am. I no longer want to be floundering. Instead, I want to be at peace, simply resting in His arms. In the arms of the One who loves me more than I can even fathom. His love is big enough to cover me, and it's time to let it do so.

Just so y'all know. It wasn't just the movie that spurred this on. This realization is the culmination of many months of being lost. For example, at this time in my life, it's easy to feel alone and confused. Every year I get furthur along in college, the more people ask "what is your major? what do you plan on doing in life?" I really should just carry around a card that says "I don't know." That way I could give it to them and walk away, and spare myself the blank look of dissapointment I recieve after they here my reply. I suppose it's most important that I know that God is in charge of this life, and what I do with it. No, I won't become a doctor or a lawyer--but I know the things that God has placed on my heart that I will do in the future: love my husband like crazy (while glorifying God through our relationship), take care of my kids, and most of all love and serve the Lord, wherever and whenever He needs me. That's what I plan on doing in life.

I realize this post turned into a drawn out jumble of thoughts, so thanks for reading and listening to me ramble on. Much love...