choices and epiphanies

I've kinda come to a crossroads in my life. My little snowglobe of a world has been turned upside down and shaken profusely, causing everything to go crazy and end up in the wrong place. So, now I have to make a choice.

Today I was listening to the radio and a speaker was talking about going through hard times. He said, "Once you have gone through the human emotions, you have a choice to make, and that choice is to trust God or not." This was the final stitch in a weave of signals God has been sending me. I've got to trust!

But blessed are those who trust in the LORD and have made
the LORD their hope and confidence. Jeremiah 17:7

Last night, at the Mercy Me concert I went to, (more on that later) I had an epiphany: I have been brought to my knees, shaken to the core, dragged through distress...because I was supposed to be. God needed me there, on my knees, looking up only to Him. It's not that my faith-life and Christian walk has been bad, because it hasn't, but maybe it just needs some tweaking. A little more devotion here, a little more trust there...that kinda thing. God knew that one way to get me to this point would be to take away the thing that was most important to me next to Himself and my family...my best friend and boyfriend. It has ripped me apart to not have him by my side, I have felt all alone and confused. But, do you know where that left me? Alone with God. Right where I needed to be.

So, now instead of wallowing in my tears and shouting at God, I have made a choice. My choice is to trust. Trust God completely, knowing that His will for me is the best thing for me. I have to embrace that and live into it the best way I can. This will for sure take some work, it won't be easy. There are days when I have to stop and say "Trust!" every 5 seconds just to get me through, but that's okay. One day I'll get to the point where I will have to say that less and less, because my life will be based around my trust and hope in the Lord.

He is working every situation in my life out for good, even though it doesn't always feel like it. I may hurt right now, but he is cultivating new things in me, teaching me lessons, shaping my heart. How can I not be excited about that?! Every day is a new day, and I want to celebrate Him all of those days, growing closer to Him. Surrounding myself with the knowledge of a God who loves me and wants only whats best for me.

Thanks to everyone who has watched me go through this rough patch and helped me along. God has blessed me with great people in my life. You all are part of the path that led me to this realization. Let's just pray that I can keep this positive outlook going! :o)

And thank you Lord for putting me in this place, right where You needed me to be.